Ain't Nothing like BUCKETHEAD!

I just showed "The Fabulous Adventures of Mr. Buckethead" to my pals Jay Warnesky and Jon Gebhart the other night. It was the first for both time they had ever seen this Philadelphia classic. Big Daddy Davey Boy Ryan was there for the first couple of minutes but was pretty wiped out at so he went home. I'd normally call him a pussy, but at 34, married, with a baby girl on the way- 10:30pm on a Saturday's gettin' late. Unless you're a vampire like Jonny Gebhart.

Mr. Buckethead is the creation of Philadelphia's true twisted genius, filmmaker Alex Strang - who if I had met earlier during my tenure at my college, I would've followed his lead into his Sweetly Bizzare cinema. His classic, films include the Sci Fi opus- "Modern Day Nuclear War" and the Buckethead films.

Strang was interested in Japanese TV shows in the 1970's like "Spectra Man", Godzilla feature films, and he creates characters from Sid and Marty Kroft influences. To say that he was an enigma to the "Open Minded Art School-Elitist Film as Art" Professors at college is an understatement. The dude's an entertainer, and a funky one as well- I'll take Tubsy the Paper Boy, his weird foam monsters and Big Daddy X over any of the films of Jonas Mekus, Maya Deren and Stan Fuckin' Brackage's "Mothlight" any day of the week.

Strang has also now created Puppet Karaoke shows in Philly, (singing puppets anyone?) which are doing quite well, and check it out on the link below. Also he's now moved on to PODCASTS of the Puppet shows so if you have iTunes you can down load the videos FOR FREE!!!


"Don't call the police.....Get Buckethead!"

BUCKETHEAD and his Puppet pals are here: http://www.cybergecko.com/


(Photo Credits Cybergecko)

Jack Black is NACHO LIBRE

From the Writer of "School of Rock", and the Director of "Napoleon Dynamite" comes NACHO LIBRE ! Jack Black plays a Mexican Monk who dreams of becoming a Luchador Wrestler to help the children in his Orphanage...Besides S.O.A.P this'll be the other movie I can't wait for. It opens on June 16th.

Check out the website here http://www.nacholibre.com/

I realize this post is one of the shorter ones I've done but it's been a busy week.

Lori, I've been dying to write on the Premiere 100 Greatest Acting roles post you have (Swayze as Dalton in ROADHOUSE anyone?)

Just saw Donald Fagen @ the Wiltern here in LA, thanks Jay Warnesky for the Freebie tix!

Congrats to Mr. and Mrs. Joe Lampone Jr and his new baby boy, Joseph Lampone III

More to come tomorrow...

Movie of the Year: SNAKES ON A PLANE

New Line Cinema just released a tease poster for S.O.A.P that can't miss. As I posted before (02/28/06)about this film, it just snowballs into something bigger and bigger. CNN, The H'wood Reporter, Ain't it Cool News, are all pushing this movie big time. I'm at work right now and this is of the most importance to me.

If it only opened next week......


(Photo credits: EW.com)

Brando, Back From the DEAD

For a dead actor, Brando's making a comeback. First, THE GODFATHER the video game comes out today -using his real voice, and arguably his last performance; and then there's SUPERMAN RETURNS using old vaulted footage from the old 1978 classic will fly into cinemas in the summer. Maybe a Gangsta Rap album''s not too far behind.

In The Godfather video game you're a goon in the Corleone family who's trying to rise through the ranks, while hanging with Tom Hayden, Michael, Sonny, Connie and Fredo. Hopefully I'll get to hang out with Lou Cabratzi.

It looks like GRAND THEFT AUTO only set in the 1940's, and after seeing that the Game Guide's 1000 pages long you'll bet that I plunk down my last $50.00 for this before becoming a dad in May. Nothing like mayhem in the city for me....

Oh course the second allure of the game is to hear the late, great Brando reprise his role only even if it's for just a video game. Sean Connery did the same thing with the FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE game which I'll buy used later for a lower price.

At least Brando didn't punk out like that other fatass Orson Welles, as his last role was as a HUGE ASS metallic planet that ate other planets in, "The Transformers- The Movie".

Way to go Dr. Moreau!

Here's the link to the game http://www.ea.com/official/godfather/godfather/us/home.jsp

F-Fest 2006 - Basic Instict deux: Risk Addiction

I cannot wait for this movie. It opens on March 31st and looks CRAPTASTIC. If the Theater owners and the Heads of Studios are worried about attendance being down this year- wait no more, this movie really is going to prove once an for all that Hollywood knows what's good for you.

Nothing like sequel to an expensive "B" movie to begin with - honestly there was nothing different of the plot of the first Basic Instinct from your average Shannon Tweed "erotic thriller" except that B.I. had "A" list talent, and an ridiculously expensive script. Oh yeah Michael Douglas' flabby ass. Yuck.

Cut to almost 15 years later, Sharon Stone (whom I always thought was way overated) returns as Catherine Trammel- the killer vamp with a penchant for leading on asshole alpha male types and then shanking their dumbasses during copulation, is now living in London, and a suspect on another sex crimes thing-a-ma-plot. Anyway who cares- if you watch the trailer she's trying to stir up those "cool film scenes" from the original by sliking in a chair by slllooowly straddling it....Bwhahahahahahaha!

Look I've got nothing against older women flaunting it- I just love to watch these bitchy diva types like Stone have to shake it to garner attention, and you know it's going to be silly - and you know most of the "unauthorized" bootleg cut of the trailer,(currently on the web) which puts most crap on Cinemax to shame, will only be on the UNRATED DVD.



Lest we forget when H'wood's trying to "turn up the heat" we get skinema classics like "The Color of Night", "Body of Evidence", "Showgirls", and two of Sharon Stone's greats "The Specialist" and "Sliver". The only thing that was hot about Basic Instinct was the score by the late Jerry Goldsmith.

Can't you feel the HEAT?

Check out the Erotic Wackiness: http://www.sonypictures.com/movies/basicinstinct2/

The Sultan of Smooth Sarcasm, Donald Fagen

I haven't bought a new album in over a year, (thank you itunes) but last week David Gilmour of Pink Floyd fame came out with a new solo album, and today, Tuesday, March 14th Donald Fagen's 3rd solo album "MORPH THE CAT" comes out. Just in time too; as I'm expecting my daughter in about a month, and this'll be the album that marks her arrival. I just hope that lil'Emily Devo develops a taste for Steely Dan because that'll be what daddy-o puts on the cd player to put her to sleep.

Anyway, Steely Dan really is the band I can't live without - their sound of jazz riffs, laser backbeat, blended with dense chords and sharp electric guitar chops - with the polished narratives of insouciant irony about cryptic topics - all sung by Fagen with a nasal New Yorker's wail, dwell to some degree on destruction and doomsday, but usually with black humor or a diffident shrug. That's me in a nutshell. I think.



Each one of Fagen's solo efforts has had a distinct impact on my life at certain moments - 1982's "THE NIGHTFLY" which I discovered in 10th grade (1986-87) helped me through a rough patch of High School adolescence, and ushered in my taste for BeBop Jazz and later on 1970'a fusion. It's an upbeat album, where Fagen sings about his youth in the suburbs of NYC during Eisenhower/Kennedy era of the New Frontier and the promise of a polished future.



1993's "KAMAKIRIAD" was the year I graduated college and into a recession -and on the album Fagen's ponderance on middle age with his second effort reflected the uncertainty of that particular moment in time as speed and fun of college suddenly leveled off and the real responsibilties of life started to settle in. His sound had changed (longtime SD producer, Gary Katz was not on the album ) as he was starting to move into own distinct style, no longer just bound into being the Steely Dan frontman.

"ALIVE in AMERICA" wasn't a Fagen effort, however it was the first Steely Dan album in 15 years and it marked my move to Los Angeles from NYC. Likewise, with 2003's "Everything Must Go" the only SD album I haven't listened to ad nauseum; but that was the year that I proposed to my lovely wife - furthermore I danced with her to "Hey Nineteen" towards the end of our wedding three times in a row. I'd see them live for the first time the same year.

Which leaves me with "MORPH THE CAT"- I'm hoping it's good; advance reviews have been positive- but I'll have to wait and see if there's any songs to croon to Emily.



(photo credits Donald Fagen.com / Steely Dan.net)

KNEEL before ZOD !

How did this guy not beat the crap out of Superman? He had 2 other Kryptonian evil criminals and couldn't get the job done. Sounds like the perfect politican and possible Presidential nominee for 2008. War on terror? KNEEL! Abortion? KNEEL! The economy? I said, KNEEL YOU CUR...

Can't you hear his acceptance speach? Sons and Daughers of Washington...I am your leader now...I am General Zod. Your ruler. Yes, today begins a new order. Your lands, your possessions, your very lives, will gladly be given in tribute to me, General Zod! In return for your obedience you will enjoy my generous protection. In other words you will be allowed to live. Come and kneel before Zod! Bow down to ZOD!



Vote for Zod here: http://www.generalzod.net/
Photo Credits: General Zod .Net

The ULTIMATE WARRIOR IS NUTTY

I used to love this wrestler. I'm now in awe and in shock of what his is now. From the frenzied pumped up entrance - a tribal, bombastic heavy metal score, The Ultimate Warrior was like a real life superhero come to life. Unfortunately, for him the world of Pro Wrestling, and his persona eventually fused into a bizzare reality.

Jim Hellwig was a a pro wrestler in Texas under the guise of "Dingo Warrior". His moves were limited, as his physique would indicate, his repetoire was a running clothesline, a power slam (lifting your opponent over your head and slamming him to the mat) pumping his fists into the air to the Gods, and then body slamming himself on to the lying opponent for the pin. All within a match time of no longer than 10 mins.



Eventually, The Dingo Warrior was paired with a wrestler named Steve Borden, who at the time's wrestling moniker was "Flash". The promoter wanted to capitalize on the premiere wrestling tag team of the time, "The ROAD WARRIORS", who based themselves on the post apocalyptic characters of the film of the same name. They had face paint,matching spiked shoulder pads, and the attitude to boot.

As cheap imitations go - Dingo and Flash became, "The Blade Runners", and had a semi successful run; but after a while the two went their separate ways- Flash would wrestle in the south in Ted Turner's WCW as STING and Dingo became THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR in the WWF, signing with Turner's chief rival Vince McMahon.

Both wrestlers became franchise players in both companies. The difference: when the matches ended, STING would go home as Steve Borden. The Ultimate Warrior? Well, Jim Hellwig got so into his character, that in the late 1990's he actually changed his name to Warrior. Furthermore, his first name is now Warrior. So he's Mr. Warrior Warrior. His wife even changed her name to Warrior. Nice.



He even successfully sued the WWF for the intellectual property of the Ultimate Warrior name, and won. Vince McMahon actually had to give this guy his own copyright on the bottom of the WWF produced DVD. Not bad for a guy who got fired/or left 3 times from the WWF.

However, after buying and watching the DVD I totally got my money's worth, from the footage of matches past, to his beating Hulk Hogan @ Wrestlemania 6, to some great rants, and I quote, (growl and scream at the top of your lungs) "WELCOME TO TO MY WORLD!!!WHERE NIGHTMARES ARE THE BEST PART OF MY DAY!!!!!" and "WHAT DO RICK RUDE AND BOBBY HEENAN (the manager) HAVE IN COMMON WITH THE LIBERTY BELL???? ONE'S CRACKED AND THE OTHER'S A DING DONG!!!!" to the classic, "FEEL THE POWER OF THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR!!!"

Unfortunately the DVD left out the classic BODY BAG match where he and The Undertaker (pictured above)fight until they demolish their opponent to "death"- and then zip them in a real size body bag. At one point the Undertaker actually knocks out the Warrior and seals him in the body bag. I can can still see the concern on my little brother Jeff's face, and hear the hush of the Madison Square Garden crowd through my dad's old silver Panasonic TV as the Undertaker started to drag his "prize" out of the ring to parts unknown. But suddenly as if Thor himself smashed his hammer into the Warrior's chest, the body bag started to shake and convulse, and the Warrior RRRRIPS himself out of the bag; shredding it. At this moment Bobby Heenan who was calling the match with Gorilla Monsoon screams, "Oh my God, Monsoon look at that, I've never seen that before! That's the power of The Warrior!" The camera man zooms into The Undertaker's face as he reacts in shock, rolls his eyes into his head (thereby selling it) and the crowd goes nuts. The Ultimate Warrior starts to pummel The Undertaker, puts him in the body bag, slams himself on top of the bag, pins him, runs out of the ring, and into the locker room. The MSG crowd is in a frenzy; and me and my brother eat this up. Then body bag left behind then starts to rise....

I know I'm rambling here but there's a payoff- Warrior has his own website where he philosophizes about life,politics,the cosmos, and wrestling. He even has his own vocabulary where he makes up words like DESTRUCITY- (look it up). He'll even give you tips on a workout regimine as well. He's wrestling's Voltaire...

Currently Warrior's trying to come back to wrestling (which would be cool, but he's in his early 40's at least) in the WWF's rival TNA wrestling. Though it may seem I'm knocking a former favorite wrestler of mine, I didn't write all that stuff on his site; but I did buy his DVD for $15.00, part of which goes into his pocket to fuel more WARRIOR WISDOM....FEEL IT !!!!

Check out THE ULTIMATE WARRIOR HERE: http://www.ultimatewarrior.com

KAYFABE for March 05,2006

KAYFABE - (adjective) A private languge used by wrestling originated by carneys. Like "pig Latin", it allows people who use it to speak in public about secrets and tricks of the trade without anyone who overhears them will understand what's being said.

See, isn't learning fun ? Now when you watch your next wrestling match you'll understand that the referee isn't actually shouting at Ric Flair to stop poking Hulk Hogan in the eye but actually telling him to either slow down or speed up the match.


JOKE of the DAY : What does an elephant use for a vibrator?
An epileptic




I've been prank calling my buddy MICHAEL GINGOLD one of the editors for FANGORIA magazine, using one of the quotes that the Paul Walker thriller, RUNNING SCARED used on it's one sheet back east: "Quentin Taratino calls Running Scared, movie making straight from the telvis..." whatever that means. Anyway I 'd call say the line in colorful variations, and hang up. I did this for the entire week of 02/28-03/03/2006; at least 3 times a day. One of my best pals back east, freelance writer Chris Poggialli let him in on joke, and I told Mike I'd give Fango a cheap ass plug on this blog, after violating his answering machine like Ray Liotta does to Pia Zadora in the movie with a garden hose while laughing like a maniac in "The LONELY LADY". So there it is, and here's to you Mike Gingold, and that wacky, ass big fur Russian hat you wore when we saw the "JERKY BOYS" 10 years ago...and then we shockingly got cussed out by those 12 year old fucks after the film in the middle of the street.

For more on Fangoria go to their website here:

http://www.fangoria.com




F-the OSCARS gimme the RAZZIES SUCKA!

Other than the fact I just don't really give crap about any of the movies; I'm not saying they're bad, I just didn't have any passionate interest in any of the top five films. My personal favorite movie was "WALK THE LINE"- I never was a Johnny Cash fan but that was a great movie. Upbeat too, without the forced sentimentaility. I'd see "GOOD NIGHT, GOOD LUCK" but I can wait for video.

As for the RAZZIES Jenny McCarthy's "DIRTY LOVE" which lasted as long as Joe Lampone in a gay bar in the theaters, (JL was my great roomate for 5 years here) that's the M'fer of parties I'd go to. Christ, even Hallie Drivin' Berry showed up to pick hers up, which makes me like her more. Even though she let Billy Bob bang her like flame in a windstorm.

Please check out the RAZZIES website here:

http://www.razzies.com



ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT get's possibly renewed- Showtime may pick up 24 episodes of what I consider the best sitcom on TV right now. Thank god.

This show was a slow burn for me, it took about 6 episodes to finally get it, but man when you do, it's a treat. Jason Bateman reminds me of a junior Bill Murray, and that's saying a lot.

I don't want to jinx it possibly returning by talking about it anymore.

One final word: WHOOOOOOOOOO!

Video Game of the Year - THE WARRIORS

"CAN YOU DIG IT SUCKAAAASSSS!!!" Take the Walter Hill classic, 1979's The Warriors and give it to ROCKSTAR GAMES and what you get is a revamp of the fighter genre, and quite possibly one of the greatest games ever made. From the opening of the WONDER WHEEL at Coney Island with the Barry DeVorzon electronic score to the meeting of the Baseball Furies to climax of the game - the showdown with the Rogues at the shore you live the movie.

As the game starts out 3 months before the meeting with Cyrus in the Bronx, you learn how some of The Warriors joined the gang in various back stories that pad the gameplay. These missions vary from taggin' rival turf to stealing and bopping your way through a blacked out city in pandemonium.

It also incorporates the film actor's actual voices from Ajax (JAMES REMAR), to Cleon the fallen leader (Dorsey Wright) to Swan (a pre Xanadu Michael Beck) this is the authenticity, that adds to greater detail while bustin' skulls.



As always, Rockstar got the music rights to just about every track on the movie from Joe Walsh's "In the City" to the cover of "Nowhere to Run" by Arnold McCuller, it's a badass potpourri of late seventies tracks that starts to bleed into the post apocalyptic electric themes of the upcoming Reagan era 1980's.

Most importantly Boppin' your way back to Coney obviously is the allure of this game. You play out each character of the Warriors, my 2 personal favorites: Warlord CLEON, as he was killed off way too early in the movie, and of course AJAX, as James Remar's intense voice track get's you pumped to kick some ass. Also, it's raw- most of George Carlin's seven deadly words are all used here; after all, these are street hoods.



No way of wasting an opponent is off limits: take opponents head and smash them into walls, cars, windows, light them on fire, kick them in the nads, and in one part of the game I got to live out my pool hall brawl fantasies of smashing skulls with a pool stick. But there's no greater pleasure than throwing someone through a plate glass window or wooden walls. You can even stick it to "the man", if you wish and try your luck beating up city cops- but they're pretty damn tough and will Rodney King your ass as they show up in numbers.

Futhermore in the game you can control up to 9 of The Warriors simultaneously, which adds to the excitement of various scenes from the film; the fight with The Baseball Furies in Central Park at 2am, and most notably the bathroom brawl at Union Station against the "Punks" (the gang of Ted McGinley Happy Days looking rejects in overalls) which like the movie is brilliantly chaotic. If you like that, there's a game mode where two gangs face off on a roof top and the object is to throw all your opponents off the roof to their deaths (with cut scenes of each of them flying off screaming HA!). If you want race wars it's all there face off Blacks, Whites, Latinos, Asians,Cops and even chicks to gang fights in various backgrounds. You can even create your own gang from 465 "Soldiers"

My only critique is that the voice of The Rogues, David Patrick Kelly isn't used, I don't know why - but nonetheless the replacement voice sounds eerily similar.

Other than that the game's perfect. Having grown up in NYC during this time they got the urban look down. I can travel to any part of the city and I can smell the sour urine eminating from the sidewalks. This time from the safety of my own home.

Later Boppers...



Photo Credits: Rockstar Games