Guy Donovan SINGS!

My buddy General Guy Donovan is now a badass Border Patrol Agent (one of the 7 1/2 people that read this blog) located up in Grand Forks North Dakota crackin' skulls on illegal Samoans crossing the American Border in La Canada...

After being stationed in Yuma, AZ he designed the popular T-Shirt below.




The past has a way of catching up with you...Before the Border Patrol...Before the Hollywood Animation Years...Before the UArts years... It seems when he was in the military back in the early 80's he dropped a bucket of nasty, gray, shitty smelling mop water from a tower on some Puerto Rican dude named Cruz ruining his day, but created a classic anectode for Guy to tell his college buddies some years later.



(ex-Private Cruz Velasquez Photo credit: Keegan images)

I recieved an email from Cruz (now a manager at a local Taco Bell after his bitter divorce from Film Editor Stacy Clipp that left him impotent and destitute) , and he sent the following footage of Donovan on a USO tour of Scandanavia.

Yes, Sgt. Guy was in fact a Disco lovin' hipster, not the Pink Floyd Denim jacket biker dude we all thought he was when we met later on. That was all a cover up.

According to sources he was frequently seen at Roller Disco Rink THE ROXXY in New York hitting on such notables as Jade Jagger, and doing the Hustle with Models like Lauren Hutton. He even auditioned for a bit part in "Can't Stop the Music" the Villiage People's film bomb starring Steve Guttenberg

Quite frankly I don 't think even his wife knows this, but the truth must now be exposed....

EVIDENCE # 1 -

A Group photo of his defunct pop band...GABA...before he was kicked out of the band.



Story goes they were supposed to open for Hall and Oats on their H20-82 Euro Tour (sponsored by Evian) but back stage tensions flaired when Donovan decided he didn't want to sing back up vocals on their hit song "Trans Euro X-press" (# 678 Billboard Charts US) a Kraftwerk cover. John Oats then intervened to get the show rolling, and furthermore demanded that both men shave off their facial hair as that was his trademark. Not willing to sell out, Donovan and Oats got into a fistfight that left both men bloodied and bruised. According to legend, Darryl Hall wept silently in a corner.

The Tour went on and GABA was replaced by Kajagoogoo.


With bearded facial hair seemingly dragging him down artistically, Donovan shaved off the beard and goes for the Burt Reynolds style mustache, his friends Michael McDonald, and Kenny Loggins encouraged him to try his hand at lead vocals.

Produced by Buckner and Garcia (the musicans responsible for the one hit wonder "Pac Man Fever") this cover of a Villiage People song peaked at #4 on the Finnish Musical charts that year, and was on the Korean Rock SCORE at #58 as well.

I want to thank Manager Cruz Velaquez of Taco Bell Burbank district 9a from the bottom of my heart for this outstanding footage and material.

Furthermore also apologize about not paying for my bean burrito at the drive through. I was on the can for several hours the next morning so we're even.

Words cannot describe what you are about to witness....and now the piece de la resistance....

EVIDENCE # 2

Guy Donovan circa 1983(?) singing a most excellent Disco classic!




Video Courtesy of Cruz Velasquez Enterprises Inc. via You TUBE

Werewolves, The Handicapped and Non-PC Tee Shirts

Found this site called T-Shirt Hell, and they have a lot of funny prints.

http://www.tshirthell.com/hell.shtml






This Kermit autopsy one had me in stitches. (no pun intended)




Found this on YOUTUBE - a handicapped wheelchair bound theater group doing Werewolf impressions.
Hey I say go for it if it makes them feel empowered, but watching it makes it no less wacky....Especially the dude with the "Speak and Spell" voice....

Aaaarrrroooooooooooo!




Just when you thought that was weird.....


ONE LEGGED SOCCER!









That's all folks!

FUNNIEST FUCKING MOVIE OF ALL TIME...

I don't think I laughed this hard with a ROCKIN' audience since "There's Something About Mary" 9 years ago.
Is this the funniest movie of all time? Oh hell yeah...I don't mean to over hype this but if you liked "The 40 Year Old Virgin" or even watched an episode of "Freaks and Geeks" you'll get the lowbrow humor mixed with sweetness that is the motif of the Judd Apatow canon of comedy.

It also raises the bar on the teen genre comedy and quite simply blows it to smithereens. "American Pie" looks like amateur filmmaking compared to this - Superbad is on the level of "American Graffitti, "Dazed and Confused" "The Graduate" and some of the early John Hughes teen schmaltz coming of age films in the 1980's.

Plus it's about a bunch of dorks who can't get dates who try to score beer to get laid. Can I relate? Absolutely. Even if you remove the absurd comedy of Superbad, the dialogue is honest, and true. I've had every conversation those dudes had with my buddies growing up in NYC a thousand times. So I was cringing while laughing my ass off.

I also loved it because it introduces Michael Cera of "Arrested Development" (one of my personal favorites) to a new audience and will put him in the stratosphere, and furthermore will find more filmwork for newly discovered wunderkind Christopher Mintz-Plasse who steals the movie as Fogel. Jonah Hill, who plays the young Seth Rogen is fantastic as well.



So fall is upon us which means pretentious Hollywood -adult bullshit about movies that will change the world get the Oscar....blah...blah blah...Serious Filmmaking Season ....."Rendition" anyone? ""Golden Compass"....Fucking "Javier Bardem Films" getting any takers? Eeeyuck. Although AMERICAN GANGSTER looks badass....

But the one film I'm really looking forward to: "BE KIND REWIND"

For Pasztory - and SUPERBAD !!!!

So here's the preview for the next greatest animated flick from the DC Universe- THE NEW FRONTIER. From Darwyn Cooke's
comic book of the same name.

We're a long way from "Heavy Metal" and "Fire and Ice".....





Here's a pix of me and Pasztory back in 2nd grade also noted are Dr.Robbie Bollt and Johnny Boy Zem in the front.
Robbie's the redhead in the MANNHUNTER flicks....



Pasztory's the dude in the Oakland A's hat who gets blown to smithereens...





BONUS !!! BONUS!!!!


The instant CLASSIC - "SUPERBAD" sneak peek-





Thanks to Mean Gene for the hookup!

My kind of X-perimental Flick

Shoulda woulda, coulda.... If I could do it over I'd make this movie in art school and tell the ol' perfessers to stick it....right up their browns!





Go Andy go! I hope Hot Rod kicks ass,,,,,

VOTE for HARVEY DENT & THE LANDLORD

Hopefully BATMAN THE DARK KNIGHT will kick ass. It's got 2 villians so I'm not gonna hold my breath as I did with Batman Begins, and in doing so had a great time with that movie.

I also see with lowered expectations INDIANA JONES and the LOST CITY. I figure I'll go in, and hopefully avoid the nasy negatives I'm keenly aware of about this one (Shia LeBoeuf as Jr.,Jr? ugh) and just have a good time. I'll admit that it's cool to see him in the fedora once again. Furthermore, it can't be as bad as the TV show...





Lastly , I found this on FUNNY OR DIE - Will Ferrell's website (thanks to Shelley) where he meets his landlord. Funnier than Ricky Bobby. (ugh)

TRANSFORMERS The Lost Audition

F-Michael Bay. This is the REAL TRANSFORMERS movie:

There is a GOD....

RAMBO RULES!

Some wait for gay robots in disguise. I waited for a PG-13 John McClane. Scratch that- a NC-17 JOHN RAMBO and a body count to rival a night in Fallujah.

My only regret is that he's not killing in Afghanistan killin' some of those Al-Qeda suckholes over there. The ultimate Right Wing poster boy for American might reduced to kickin' the crap outta The "evil" Burmese?

I don't remember the last time I had heard a Burmese Holy Warrior blowin themselves up in Scotland recently...



Here he is looking for Bin Laden in the original opening....

Cobra Kai Lives on...."Sweep The Leg"

Kudos to Davey Boy Ryan who showed me this video yesterday....It's directed by that bad boy of '80's teen flicks himself William Zabka and stars all the Cobra Kai white boy Bruce Lee wanna bees. Watch for Daniel San himself and star of Artie Lange's awesome "Beerleague" Ralph Macchio...

AUSSIE "ROADHOUSE"

I didn't think it was possible. But here you have it.

Look for the dude in the Chicken suit...

No, I'm not kidding.





Quite frankly if this were the type of movies I got work on. I'd be happier than a fat man locked in a Baskin Robbins.

ROLLING ROCK BEER Presents - "Play Balls!"

Rolling Rock beer creates this commercial. It's funny. Too funny (I think). So the watchdog a-hole groups pull it because it's so called "indecent".

But when was the last time anyone remembered a Rolling Rock commercial?

I smell conspiracy between the Miller Brewing Co., Lobbiests at Washington, the Religious Right and Superstation TBS.

WARNING if you're a dude wear a cup before watching.





BONUS VIDEO :

I saw this commercial back in 1991(?) and laughed my ass off.



It's the fake pee that gives it that extra umph.

GOONIES of the CARRIBBEAN

A mashup masterpiece.

Guilty Pleasure #1 - XANADU

I have no explanation for this one. Saw it as kid. Had a boner for Olivia Newton John after Grease.

It's actually a really ridiculous movie with cheesy animation from Don Bluth, an emasculated Michael Beck from "The Warriors", but it was also Gene Kelly's last movie.

The soundtrack always kicked ass...

Are you "SUPERBAD"?

Spidey 3 showed up that was cool. Hot Fuzz even better. Shrek 3 I'll see on DVD. Pirates and Harry Potter are for fags.

My tent pole (huh,huh,huh...huh,huh) release this year, the one I'll be sending an evite for doesn't come out until August.

Just like Snakes On A Plane, the real jems of Summer releases it seems don't come out until later in the season.

Ask yourself one question, are you SUPERBAD?

2 for the Holiday Weekend- ROY RULES! / Meet the KUATOS

Roy is the coolest dude in the world...and no I don't want to bang him.






Kuato finally makes his SNL appearance....



Have a great weekend everyone!

MUST SEE TV!- "My Black Son"

Coming to FOX this fall....





Shine up those Emmy's because this is a winner.....

F-JACKIE!

THE NEW STAR TREK MOVIE

I found a BOOTLEG copy of JJ Abrams (writer of ARMAGEDDON) test footage of his Star Trek redux.

THE VALLEY BALL

So I'm not one for the Stripper set...It's not that I don't like lookin' at nekked ladies, it's just I need them, the lighting, the music and their dance set to be absoultely top notch, and they have to have that Playboy quality. For whatever reason if none of that criteria are met, I'm on to other things. Plus if I ask an exotic dancer if they're either Classically trained or more into the Fosse Jazz method and they don't have an answer, goodbye to Mr. Washington in your underpants.

Also I guess I'm old fashioned, I never thought I'd get into the feathery 1920's dance routine, and a chick popping out of a cake, but I'm into the show...Plus I get worried for their safety dancing around in those high heels. That can't be ergonomically positive for the lumbar region of the back.

What brought this up? 2 things - J.Warnesky's Bachelor party where I tried new jokes and material on a bunch of dumbfounded dancers in Las Vegas, the best calling a stripper "Mom" and throwing her lap dance solictiation out the window.

Furthermore when it was "my turn" with Jay's Dancer all I requested was that she just sit on my lap (she was a nekked blonde, but I like redheads) while I watch cartoon network for 2 mins. I also was eating a Hostess Cherry pie as well at the time. But her handler thought this was creepy/strange (well it's not the norm) , and nixed the idea.

Weird, huh? I figure I'm paying $40 for a cheesy lap dance (that's 4boxes of baby formula) on this ditzy chick and I can't get my request? I guess it was because VOLTRON was on. But if I asked her to stick a rubber dick up her ass and sing Pussycat Dolls shit, that she could do.

It also goes back to when I got a lap dance at my bachelor party and the girl who grinded me did so without realizing that I forgot to remove my keys from my front pocket. So it was a tad painful for me, but it worked itself out as I laughed my ass off when she took the stage a few moments later and had a big red welt on her ass, courtesy of the locks at my apartment.

The second is this commercial I found from You Tube for this Strip Club in Van Nuys. I guess if I was a porn director this would be the kind of crap I'd direct....SMOKIN" HOT CHICKS.....bwhahahahahahahahha!

Bootlegging a Bootlegger...

So not to seem like I'm bragging but the "Pulp Fiction Jedi Edition" parody I created has had almost 80,000 views, which kicks ass.

It's even been "swiped" (with no credit sent to me) by a dude on YouTube named "bmfwallets". I checked out his "channel" and he sells replicas of Jules wallets with the BMF logo on it and has scenes from Pulp Fiction uploaded to YouTube. I commented on it and he was nice enough to leave it up.

But, the one that's got me a little steamed is this one:




I think that the parody is fantastic but my jaw dropped when I saw the Eric Stoltz bit, because it was my joke.


Now, I'm generally pretty liberal with copying but this was the first time someone copied off my paper, and truth be told, right now it sucks. But going forward if that becomes the signature gag for all Pulp Fiction parodies later on, then so be it, that's kinda cool.

So should I be bitching about getting swiped and copied off of copyrighted material, intellectual property from two of the most litidgeous companies (Disney / Lucasfilm) out there? I look at my bank account and I say thee nay young Skywalker....

However on a cool note "Pulp Fiction, Jedi Edition" did make # 3 on some other blogger's list (where I found the Muppet Parody :

http://www.10zenmonkeys.com/

Even cooler is that link came from the GORILLA MASK site which I have a link to on the side bar.

So onto more parodies that someone else can steal...

WEREWOLF WOMEN OF THE SS !

Enjoy!

FROM THE GRINDHOUSE- "THANKSGIVING!"

Sure I'm bootlegging copyrighted material. But that's how I got into most of these movies to begin with.

Chinese Pulp Fiction....

The Lyric Theater in 42nd Street Lives On...

The sprit of my youth lives on with a twin kill billing of PLANET TERROR and DEATH PROOF. This is the film I've been waiting for.
Citizen Kane, The Godfather Series and even Early Speilberg can kiss my ass.

GRINDHOUSE creates the atmosphere and spirit of the crummy 42nd Street theaters that I saw most of the AIP, Roger Corman, and later Golan Globus cannon of films. From "ALLIGATOR" to "MOTEL HELL" to "THE EVIL THAT MEN DO"; for better or worse my father had the good sense to have a multiplex babysit me and my brother every now and then when we were younger.



Conversely, my mother generally took me to more standard fare like "Star Wars", Woody Allen films and strangely enough, "ESCAPE FROM NEW YORK" and Chuck Norris in an "EYE FOR AN EYE". So I learned early on what the difference between safe summer blockbuster audiences and ones that can kill you if you laugh at the wrong joke.

The latter always fascinated me, partly because the Black guys in the audience were always talking to the screen. Now if I could only get a few Black dudes to watch "Schindler's List", "The Piano" or "The English Fucking Patient" with me to cackle in the back of the theater just to mess with that audience of unholy pretension.

The Lyric theater is on 42nd street in NYC. I saw a ton of movies there, the last being "SURVIVING THE GAME" with ICE-T. Sure enough as soon as the film started a Black family of 5 or six sat a few rows ahead of me and my buddy Chris. The adult was a Grandmother and the kids seemed to range in age from 10 - 17. Everytime someone got blasted into bits, these kids would laugh like DeNiro in CAPE FEAR; add to this the CONSTRUCTION going on while the movie was playing INSIDE the theater... ....funny stuff.



Well Keegs and Shelley, went with me to this and from frame one I was floored. "PLANET TERROR" - Rodriguez's picture harkens back to the Italian Zombie gore splatter fests (thank you!) where not one ounce of Karo Syrup is wasted. Lucio Fulci (director of ZOMBIE) and Dario Argento are somewhere smiling, as is John Carpenter, who's scores are paid homage to here.
Did I mention the gore? Every character is expendible. When their time's up, it's spectacular. I haven't seen such splatacular head wounds since "MANIAC" and "SCANNERS".

Even goremaster / Special EFX maesteo TOM SAVINI (who's horror make up book BIZZARRO I bought as a kid) is in it for fun. Add to this scratches and audio pops in the film and you genuinely feel like the film's about to snap in the projection booth.
Rose McGowan remided me of Sybill Danning's badass nature with her machine gun leg and kill 'em all attitude. Look for MsDanning in one of the phony trailers by the way. I'm glad to see that they threw her a part in all this.

In "DEATH PROOF" it's nice to see Kurt Russell be a badass again. After shit like "Dreamer", "Poseidon" (which I loooved by the way) it's nice to see MacReady throwing the dynamite back at the audience and screaming "Fuck you too!"

As Keegan mentioned on her blog, Tarantino gets way involved with dialogue with the women in this one. It reminded me of Reservoir Dog's opening in the diner, except with chicks rambling on about girlie shit. I guess that was the set up, because it goes 250 MPH after that. I don't want to give anything away, but not since "RONIN" has there been a car chase that actually had me on the edge of my seat. Also thank you Quentin for mentioning "Vanishing Point!", although my favorite car chase flick is "THE DRIVER"

Kudos to Quentin's DP debut too.

A lot recently's been said that Tarantino's hasn't been making films up to his expections since "PULP FICTION" but not too many directors have complete autonomy to make their own movies with their own signature style. What other director in the last 15 years actually created an adjective to describe their films? I was lukewarm at first to JACKIE BROWN (even being a fan of Pam Grier and the Blacksploitation genre) but after watching it again recently, it really addresses great themes of aging, love, and honor. The same for "KILL BILL" which I think is one of the important films of this decade...also one of the bloodiest...

Did I mention that Citizen Kane can kiss my ass?



and now PHANTASM:





PS - look for "GREAT WHITE" cereal, as an homage to the Enzo G. Castillari fantastic Jaws rip off "GREAT WHITE" which I saw at an advaced screening back in 1982...I put the trailer up on YOUTUBE...

Just ACCEPT your BALLS to the WALL

Take power metal. Add some boys from Germany. Make the lead singer a psuedo-midget named UDO....and get your BALLS to the WALL!

Be sure to stay 'till the end....

PS- KORN and INCUBUS both suck.

APRIL FOOLS

How about a little Louis CK for yuks.....

DIE HARD The BALLAD of JOHN McCLANE

Too bad DIE HARD IV's gonna suck.

HAPPY ST.PATTY's DAY ya' Drunk Micks!

The classic Leprechaun stuck in the tree in Alabama St. Patty day's story.

David Lee Roth is the MAN

This Monday Van Halen gets elected into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Let me tell you I hope a these guys BEAT the SHIT out of one another. The band isn't even going to play together on stage, as Scott Weiland and Slash will be playing their stuff on stage. What a bunch of tools.

This is the band that keeps breaking up and making up. They just cancelled a 40 city tour with David Lee Roth, as the Van Halen brothers and now Wolfgang ( Eddie's son, who replaced Michael Anthony on bass) can't get along with Roth. I was skeptical in the beginning when I heard of an attempt of a tour, because it'd be too good to be true. Plus, I'm real particular when bands reunite because it still isn't the original lineup. Which explains why I won't shell out the $$ for The EAGLES as Don Felder was kicked out; and yes, Nickleback and Coldplay can kiss my ass. While I'm on it, Good Charlotte sucks Gary Cherone's hairy brown taint.

I grew up on the early Van Halen David Lee Roth stuff, and saw them live at MSG in 1983. It was the one of the greatest live ROCK shows I ever saw. Seeing Paul McCartney was amazing too but he didn't hump a giant inflatable microphone and spray some female hardbodies in the front row with JD. Iron Maiden's POWERSLAVE tour with the Egyptian Backdrop comes a close second.

David Lee Roth is the greatest frontman in the history of Rock. As for the Van Hagar stuff, I'll give them 5150, but the rest of those albums were just mediocre. Sammy Hagar as talented as he is can't hold Roth's jock, and as for Cherone, Joe Lampone's the only hardcore goofball to actually buy Van Halen III, and he wanted so badly to like that album.

Anyway here's a sampling of the good old days...

Scarface the Video Game

"All I have in this word is my word and my balls...and I don't break them for nobody..." - Tony Montana

This is a pretty cool preview, since the ones in the movies altogether suck, ironically the video game world seem to know how to make them. Nice use of Motley Crue as well.

I'm saving up my allowance to get this game to feed my cravings for 1980's video crime games until GTA Vice City II finally comes out on the PS2. Since I'll most probably never get this filthy rich, and become a sociopath, it's cool to live vicariously through these games. Plus I admit to randomly carjacking and killin' people in them as a stress release especially after a long commute. The best is stealing an 18 wheeler and going on a rampage on everything on the streets, especially the cops for some reason.

First, The Warriors. Then The Godfather. Now if they only could come out with a TAXI DRIVER, and or a Escape From NY video game.

Baba Booey's Love Tape

Happy Valentine's day folks, and as a man who wooed and failed with many of the ladies I know that even I'm not that stupid to videotape my lovey talk and send it to a chick to get her back. Think of this as a cautionary tale.





In the 19th century if you waited outside a woman's home and read love sonnets and poems you're called romantic. Now it's called Stalking.

PS - O.J. killed Anna Nicole Smith.

THE ACE OF SPADES

With Van Halen getting their due into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this March, hopefully the Jann Werner (Editor of Rolling Stone) and the Hall voters will hear my pleas for Lemmy and MOTORHEAD to get their due. Black Sabbath finally got in, and I'm certain that bands like Iron Maiden and Judas Priest who were at the forefront of true Heavy Metal (not the Pussy hair band shit of the late '80's early '90's yes, Poison you always sucked ass) might get a nod. After all Metallica is slated on the ballot next year, and if those guys get in then their influences should too.

Plus Lemmy's been quoted as saying he'd want be the guy who moves in next door to you and make your lawn die.

Baba Booey's Wild Ride

The Howard Stern show redux as muppets. My favorite: the silent Beetlejuice who hangs in the studio.

Fatherhood 2000

I always thought Bill Cosby's stand up on his kids was f'ing LAME. Louis CK's edgier take I dig mucho.






PS - Dane Cook sucks ass. Big Time.

Velvet Jones and Oscar ?

Congratulations to Eddie Murphy, my personal favorite comedian for landing a Golden Globe and an Oscar Nomination for Dreamgirls, (which I haven't seen yet).

It's been a long time coming in a career of high's (48 Hours) and lows (Pluto Nash) but for Mr.Robinson, aka Axel Foley, aka Gumby, DAMMIT! playing a James Brown/ Marvin Gaye hybrid is the performance of his lifetime.

To Eddie Murphy, the F-YOU man! Heeeeh, heeeh, heeeh!

Gino's Back to Party!

It's Friday folks and Gino's stylin' and profilin' to go hit the clubs! Check out his shoes! Will Martin Scorsese please stick this kid in a movie already!

I love this lil'dude.

Wetback English

These are the type of Infomercials I'd like to see. For my Border Buddy's friend in during his first military tour of duty, CRUZ.

Gene, Gene, The Dancin' Machine

I love this guy. I remember watching THE GONG SHOW as a kid and being floored by the wackiness that ensued during that 1/2 hour show hosted by none other than Chuck Barris.

I don't usually get starstruck but when I was a Page at NBC I hung out with Gene Gene the Dancing machine who was working the Tonight Show and he told me stories of the Gong Show. Man I was in heaven. What a cool guy. I even did my impersonation of him of when I was kid dancing like him. He laughed, and probably thought I was retarded. But what I loved most of all was that he was the anti-cool, and people loved it.

Unfortunately diabetes caused Gene to have both legs amputated from the knees down but that'll never stop the pure joy of watching a big dude dance his ass off without a care in the world.



P.S. F-Danny Terrio, and Dance Fever. Gino the Ginny's got your number.

Mom, What's for Breakfast?

Gino The Ginny's favorite Cereal...

JOE LAMPONE III

Since Joe E Rocco's not blogging lately, I'd fill in his absence with found future footage of his son, JOE ROCCO III. I love Joe like a Bro, but I love his kid even more.

How Not To Get Your Ass Kicked by the PD

GRIND 2007

Happy New Year folks! In a 4 months Tarantino and Rodriguez bring us GRINDHOUSE which happily looks like all the crap I used to watch with my father on 42nd Street... I'm glad these types of films that both the commercial and elite film buffs normally would snub their noses at, are finally getting their due.

Maybe Dyanna Thorne or Sybill Danning will finally now get their shot on INSIDE THE ACTOR'S STUDIO, and The films of Enzo G. Castillari (Great White, 1990's Bronx Warriors, and The Inglorious Bastards, the title of the WW2 Tarantino script) will get the Criterion treatment.

Kurt Russell welcome back to badassville!

Hail to the Chief

Once again I was going to blog about ROCKY BALBOA and what a good movie it is, and how I'm glad Philly's being used in Hollywood;but alas, another death overshadows the pop culture topics of this blog, and I can't in good conscience not mention the passing of the 38th President of the United States, Gerald Ford.

Quite simply he was the first US President I ever saw live and in living color as he addressed my High School way back in 1987, at the time being 16, I casually dismissed the viewing not realizing how priviliged it was to be in the presence of even one ex-President of the US. He wasn't an overbearing or really charismatic presence, but he did command a sense of calm, which coincidentally reflected the main purpose of his Post Watergate Administration. He did pop the auditorium as a student asked him what he thought of the current crop of Jingoistic action films, most notibly "Rambo"...He paused, and said directly that the only show he liked watching was the sitcom "Kate and Alley" which provoked warm laughter in the room. As for the rest of the powerhouse questioning that most of the eggheads at my school kept asking him in regards to Foreign affairs, the Nixon Pardon and other events during his administration i don't remember, but of course the TV one always stuck.

The only other I saw live was his successor, President Jimmy Carter whom I saw as I was working on the Tonight Show about ten years later. That show was pretty cool to be working at live and yeah,also being ten years older and a little wiser I have to admit feeling somewhat patriotic to be in Carter's presence.

I also think that was the same year The Simpsons aired an episode where at the end of it Gerald Ford moves in next door to Homer. The joke being that Ford was a klutz. Furthermore, President Ford's clumsiness did provide the fodder for all of Chevy Chase's pratfalls on his only season on Saturday Night Live, the irony being that Ford was a total jock in his youth. I bet that Ford had the CIA (he was on the Warren Commisson for the JFK assassination) tamper, and destroy Chevy Chase's film career in retaliation. Now that's funny.

Rest in peace, Mr.President.

HEEEYYYY OWWWW! Keep it Funky Forever now....

This started off as a very positve review of ROCKY BALBOA, but after a searching the web for pix, I saw on CNN that The Godfather of Soul James Brown had passed away at 73 years of age.

The dude changed R&B, Funk and Soul.

I remember buying his "Greatest Hits" as a kid and "Slaughter's Big Rip Off" with the hit "The Big Payback" later on when I noticed how cool the Blaxsploitation genre was, however it was the "Live at The Apollo" album that really got me hooked.

Let's not forget his performance in THE BLUES BROTHERS and ROCKY IV. Classics

I guess he's getting funky now with Sid Barrett, Hendrix, JohnDenver and Jerry Goldsmith somewhere.....with John Bonham on Drums.

Keeping it rrreal....and rrrepresenting....a true BLACK musician who worked his ass off and used real instruments.

God bless you James, The Hardest Working Man in Show Business!

HAPPY HOLIDAYS !

Wishing everyone health, happiness, and well....watch....

VIVA LA SNAKE!

Kurt's back playing a psycho stunt driver who runs over hot women in "DEATH PROOF" directed by Tarantino....

Thank god someone's gonna kick Snake's ass into high gear ! Now the taste of yesterday's post has finally left my mouth.

WTF?

Underdog- THE MOVIE (2007) Thurs.8pm on TBS. Starring Snoopy, MacGruff the crime fighting “Take a Bite Outta Crime” Dog, Jet Li as a Martial Artist with a Dog Collar, and Nicole Ritchie as a Bitch. Underdog fucks a bunch of Pound Puppies (doggie style) while trying to save the day, and spawns a litter of superpowered dogs who shit all over New York City. Jet Li plays a Dog sensei who teaches the superpowered pups martial arts, while Bob Hoskins screams at him from outside a cage. Look for the classic finale where Snoopy final kills that goose stepping asshole the Red Baron!

Featuring the hit single “Dog Wienniez” by Snoop Doggie Dog

Directed by the Spawn of Satan, Michael Bay. 88mins.

PLAYDATE

I did this short in 1992. Quite honestly it was one of the best shooting experiences I ever had. Plus I improvised most of it while shooting.

Practicing the same "deal goes down wrong" in just about most of my shorts makes it really easy.

Thanks again Keegs and Lori, and kudos to Kenny and Stephanie!

The original YOUTUBE link is right here:

PLAYDATE

SCARY MOVIE

I bought MONSTER HOUSE on a whim, while shopping for more important items like food and baby stuff, and even tried to cover it up with the missus by saying that it belonged to the customer ahead of me and somehow ended up with our stuff.

MONSTER HOUSE creeped me out, and that's not easy to do. The story's simple enough- a kid JD sees that the neighbor's house does some creepy things, goes to investigate it with his best buddy Chowder, and a spunky red headed girl (who reminds me of my wife) named Jenny. Without over hyping this thing, this is as good as it gets, and I found a Halloween movie for my family that'll never get stale. It's the sort of movie like ELF, or Moulin Rouge that I went to with a gut feeling, and thankfully got rewarded with some geniune good old fashioned Hollywood magic.

Kudos to Zemeckis and Spielberg who seem to still have small doses of genius in them.




Shelley got animated.

Frank Miller's "300"

Read the story as a kid.* Reread the Comic book. Saw the trailer at Comicon. For a movie starring "The Phantom of the Opera" and wickedly directed by the Zack Synder who kicked ass with the "Dawn of the Dead" remake, this shouldn't disappoint.


*300 Spartans (and 700 Thespians) fought the Persian army at the Battle of Thermapylae over four days and took out 50,000 men, before dying in battle themselves.

What a bunch of badasses!

$27.1 MILLION DOLLARS

Willem De Kooning's Untitled XXV sold for $27.1 Million Dollars a week and a half ago. I don't pretend to love most post modern art, being a Comic book fan boy I really liked Roy Lichenstein's work and Jack Kirby's 1960's pencil renderings of Marvel Superheroes were really my style. But $27.1 for that? C'mon... I understand he's a post modern "action" painter who's contemporaries include Jackson Pollock, Larry Rivers and Mark Rothko (I actually did like art history) but this particular piece I don't think merits the money. Untitled XXV was sold at a Sotheby's/ Christie's auction along with Warhol's Mao which fetched $17.1 million. No wonder art thefts are on the rise... Remember "The Scream" was stolen 21/2 years ago, and Tom Hanks ripped off the Mona Lisa recently too.

I mean if this = $27.1 Million, then I think that a large canvas Roger Deacons' 1970's Yes Album cover from the RELAYER album should = $5 million. Or a Frank Frazetta "Berzerker" (on the Molly Hatchet album) should = $10 million. I could really never figure out how to judge the modern art market at all, because so much of it is subjective. Renaissance Art I understand. Rembrandt I understand. Picasso's Pre Cubist era I like mucho.

But artists like Mondrian (the Partridge family bus pattern dude) make me want to puke.

I will admit that I do get a kick out of Jackson Pollock's work though, as he threw that paintbrush on the canvas while listening to Jazz, which explains a lot of his work. Furthermore he threw a lot of his cigarette butts into the canvas tells me he seems a lot like Denis Leary if he was a painter. So I think I'd get along with the guy. But even Pollock would tell you that you were full of shit if someone offered you $27.1 Million for his work.

So why the hell am I writing about a painting? Because it's on my desktop here at work and it reminds me of what my head feels like a this job somedays.... and the 27.1 million reasons I wouldn't mind finger painting for a living.

HAPPY THANKSGIVING 2006

"...dogs and cats living together......MASS HYSTERIA!" - Dr.Peter Venkman, Ghostbuster.

LOCK AND LOAD

Denis Leary rules -

From THE NEW YORK POST :

November 20, 2006 -- DENIS Leary had the crowd howling the other night at a New York Comedy Festival performance at Avery Fisher Hall. Leary sang "The Mel Gibson Blues" with such lyrics as, "I like to drink, I like to drive / I like to think that all the Jews got out of the Holocaust alive / My name is Mel, and can't you tell / I like tequila/I like a bagel, and I like lox / I've worked with Jews all over Hollywood, from Paramount to Fox / They kinda smell, they're goin' to hell / I like tequila."


PS- Dane Cook is overhyped, and sucks.

THE FINAL COUNTDOWN

I really shouldn't be into this. I should throw in the towel, and cynically call Stallone a sellout and wonder why he's reviving Rocky for a Sixth time. However Rocky's not an easy film character to easily dismiss and throw out. He's got heart, and decency. So I welcome him back into my life 30 years after meeting him with open arms hoping the films have finally come full circle and some of the essence of the beloved first one show itself in this one.

You have to suspend disbelief to acknowledge that a 60 year old man can get in the ring 1 last time, but once that bell rings and Bill Conti's famous score swells, I get goosebumps and pumped up. Plus that line in the preview, "..let's make some hurtin' bombs" I especially like.

The series obviously is not without it's flaws, but even Rocky 5 had it's moments, "My ring is Outside..." the ghost of Mickey telling him to get up,and the training montage in Rocky IV I still think are cool in their Philly Cheese glory.

So this X-mas I'm going back to the Philly Art Museum steps to raise my hands with an icon, one last time....GO FOR IT!

Easy Reader had it Easy...

Children's programming sure got edgy lately....I used to remember when it was all about counting to "12" or learning about the letter "U", or singing about "T-I-O-N"....

From The Chappelle show....

GET LOST

Admittedly I've only watched 1/2 the first season and some sporadic episodes of Season 02 /03 of LOST, while keeping a pulse on what happens through various media, and fans of the show. I was hooked for most of the first season as the stories were kept simple, keeping in mind how a cool show like this could end up like the X-Files where original questions are buried by introducing new ones, and answering those with newer questions; while introducing newer characters. So I kept an interest, at a distance...

So, not to sound elitist, but I generally shake my head when I talk to genuine fans of the show. This is not to put a damper on their enthousiasm, but rather a nodding grimace to the machinations of overstylized writing that grifts its audience into thinking it's better and more complex than it is.

Or simply put: pretentious writing. TV writing for that matter.

LOST started out with a simple premise - survivors of a crashed airliner on an uncharted island.
Now the first season had flashbacks of each established character, and some genuiune surprises with a Polar Bear, and a Dinosaur making their presence known. Wow. An Ex Iraqi soldier, a fat guy, an ex-Hobbit, a black dude and a Korean couple living in harmony? Interesting. Bring on the cannibals.

But alas poor Yourik, conspiracies, a hatch and a bunch of ass clowns named The OTHERs make themselves known, so like the X-Files, nothing gets resolved with the first batch of questions. At which point I give them the finger.

Also now there are 2 islands with one with "The Others" having a submarine and access to civilization.....I thought they were F**kin' LOST!

When Rod Serling created the Twlight Zone back in 1959, that show had a budget that paled in comparison with the 1-2 million Lost costs per episode. In fairness TZ was a 1/2 hour show, but the storytelling element of the paranormal was simple and straightforward. It's twist endings left the viewer bewildered, and amazed due to the magic just shown their way, but never frustrated for not understanding the story. Furthermore shows like Land of the Lost, Danger Island, The Planet of the Apes Tv Show although seemingly dated by visuals, are still fresh due to the simplicty of the stories they tell. I'm not saying that Sci-Fi has to be dumbed down, but even Star Trek (the 1967 / 1990's) had generally one mission to complete per episode.

So LOST gets lost until next year. I hope for their sake the writers get some direction.

Election Day 2006

Just do it.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN 2006!

Special Thanks to Davey Boy Ryan for keeping this on a quicktime file because I couldn't find it. Happy Halloween Everyone. (Happy B'day Missus Ryan)

Yo' Joey - you're a sissy!

Alan Parson's "Don't Answer Me"

Well, The Mets didn't make it to the World Series, but to cheer myself up I found this video of Alan Parson's "Don't Answer Me" that I always thought was among the great treasures of animation. It looks a little dated now, but at the time (1985?) it blew me away.

Thanks YouTube!

THE BIG ONE

Sorry for the lack of blogging /and or responses. October + Playoff Baseball x The Mets = Devo not here.

GRINDHOUSE -TRAILER

I don't normally Post twice in the same day, but X-mas cometh early for me with this homage to the stuff I used to watch with my dad and brother on 42nd st.

This is what I've been waiting for. This is what it's about. A Man, a motorcycle and a machine gun. A Stripper Whore with a machine gun leg. Tom Savini in another Zombie Flick.

This is the Robert Rodriguez part, and the others may be just some of the phony trailers thrown into this movie.

Rodriguez and Tarantino are officially GODS in my book.

PS- Fuck Ang Lee.

Let's GET IT ON!

This is why Yankee fans can't stand us....Let's go Mets!

Knight Rider - 3000

I was never much of a car enthousiast, since most of the cars in the 1980's sucked but here's a poster for the new Knight Rider movie (I think). This is the role Ben Affleck was born to play. I guess the Riptide movie's only a stone's throw away.

MLB PLAYOFFS

Down to the nitty gritty. The A's @ The Twins today. Later Tonight the Detroit Tigers dust off 19 seasons without a playoff berth against the stupid Yankees.

Weds. I got the LA Dodgers against the team they spawned when the left NYC in 1957, THE AMAZIN' METS.

Lets get it on!

Off The Top Rope

What a wild week .

We got stupid ass psychos shootin up our schools; as off today some asshole shot up an Amish school. Amish. What a dick. I hope he gets raped by 70 virgins with pitchforks in hell.

Moving on-

My brother Jeff who was out here earlier finally met his niece, gave me his other Sirius Satelite radio Receiver so I've been catching up with the King of All Media himself, Howard Stern.

It's nice to hear him again unadulterated whenever I feel like it -as his show repeats daily. I also like the fact that Mr. Sulu himself is now on the show from time to time, as he adds a really cool vocal dimension to the broadcast, as well as just being funny. Sulu's got a whole new audience out there now.

I can't wait for Beetlejuice to make an appearance.


Go Phillies go came up short by a game, but they'll be back again next year. I got to move on and watch my Mets play the Dodgers in a five game series this week. I'll take the Mets in 5 games and they'll play The San Diego Padres in the NLCS series after San Diego makes quick work of the Cardinals.

As for the American League I just hope the mid market overachievers, the" Little Piranaha's" The Minnesota Twins (a team I've followed since 1991's Cinderella World Series against The Braves, where both were in last place the season before only to both get to a 7 game WS) can make quick work of the stupid Yankees.

The picture above was a fan poster for a non-existent DIE HARD sequel. I hear it's titled "Live Free or Die Hard". I'm kind of on the fence about it.

They came out with "ROCKY" figures and they even made a "figure" package of the Meat he spars with a Paulies' work. Weird. Just for the record the Adrian figure's kinda ugly.

I've seen the newest Bond trailer for "Casino Royale" (w/ Cheese) and as trailers go, it doesn't look that bad. I'm actually rooting for this guy as the "underdog" Bond. Quick note about the details that all the Bond Net nerds are bitchin about him not having Brown hair like the Connery Prototype- Roger Moore didn't have it either- and even his worst movie (Moonraker) is still more entertaining than most of Pierce Brosnan's.

Got The Godfather Boxed set at Costco for $35.00. Nice transfer. Paramount actually did justice to Gordon Willis's cinematography - I never saw a print that was lightly sepia toned. Haven't got to watch GDIII yet, but I'm sure it's better than most crummy stuff out now.

I want to see Jackass 2. Looks classic. The first one had me rolling. Except for the paper cuts between the toes segment. That one had me squeezing my schpincter so hard I could taste it.

Saw Jayden "Tiki" Milagros Amalura Beanfield de la Vega wan Kenobi Jolie Pitt Ryan yesterday. What a cute kid. Someone get her a top hat, a clarinet and call Craig Chernov in 15 years. Congrats Ryans!

Been reading too many comics lately- My favorties being JONAH HEX and RED SONJA.
Nothing like a rip off man with no name character from the 70's, and a Barbarian Red Head who wears a chain mail bikini while killing her foes.

PS - Fuck James Joyce.

LETS GO METS!

YOUTUBE

Back on.


Well as most of you know I've taken a long break from blogging with my newest obsession: Uploading video on YOUTUBE, which is probably the best distribution system for my kind of content. Plus it free.

As of this typing I've had 6900 viewings of videos I've created and re editited with more on the way. Plus I'm uploading movie trailers for film no one cares about from the 1970's and early 80's that I've had on a VHS tape for more than 10 years.

I'm actually quite amazed that PULP FICTION - Jedi Edition has moved as fast as it did; but after viewing some of the other trailers using the same idea and soundtrack I have to admit the one I recreated is pretty damn good, makes sense.

So sit back and subscribe friends because I've got a lot more footage to upload....

Stay Tuned....

Writer's Block

We'll return after these messages

How SUPERMAN Should've REALLY ENDED

First we had the Bunnies at Angry Alien .com and they're :30 sec renderings of Movies. Now these guys and they're alternate Flash animated endings for some classic flicks.

Funny stuff.

The Death Mobile

As I borrowed the image from an AICN posting; this is the car that Kurt "Snake" Russell will drive in his auto- homocidal rampage in the Quentin Tarantino opus, "DEATH PROOF" part of the double bill on the film called "GRINDHOUSE".

Not too many cars get my attention - the 1978 Trans Am from "Smokey and the Bandit", The Rocket car from "Hooper", The V-8 interceptor from Mad Max 1&2 and now this.

Can't wait for GRINDHOUSE which opens next April. Makes me want to find my copy of "CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST" an Italian Splatterfest that was banned in 62 countries!

PS- Fuck Nu-Arthouse Cinema!

THE PLAY

I don't generally care about college football, but this game's final seconds between Cal State and Stanford in 1982 (who had John Elway at QB) is one of the greatest sport endings I 've ever seen.

Stanford is leading Cal State 20-19 and if they win this game they go to the HALL OF FAME Bowl; and it was to be John Elway's last game as a College Senior. All Stanford had to do is tackle the ball carrier and they win the game. What happens next is 5 flea flickers amoungst the Cal State players towards the end zone, capped off by a touchdown on the head of a Saxaphone player from Stanford's band.

The Marching Band stupidly entered the field prematurely thinking they were going to win. It's probably the most famous play in football.



The broken Saxaphone incindentally is in the College Football Hall of Fame

ALL HAIL THE CHIEF !

Our college buddy Matthew "Chief" Flesher dropped in for the week for his buddy Corbin's wedding last Sunday. We had dinner with him last Thursday and I finally got the pix outta my camera. I was disappointed as I was still expecting him to maintain the beard. Ironically Josh has one now, to hide him from the scary Snakes on a Plane he was too much of a wuss to watch.



Nonetheless it was great to see him since he left LA back in 1999. I hadn't seen him since DP Somar's Wedding in 2003.
We all met at President Clinton's favorite restaurant right here in the heart of Burbank, BJ's.





I've added Chief's Sculpting site on the side bar links. He's actually sculpted a few action figures that I actually own. I guess he's like Dave Deneen who's Buddy Christ I own as well.



Happy trails Chief buddy! Hopefully we'll see you soon!

Also - congrats to the Ryan's and their new spawn Jayden Ryan!

Fightin' Phillies are DANGEROUS

That's picture of The Phillies future - RYAN HOWARD who just passed MIKE SCHMIDT with the most Home Runs by a Phillie in one season. He currently has 48, (Schmidt had 47, with 536 total) as the Phillies suddenly have gotten hot, and are 1/2 game out of the Wild Card in the National League.

The Mets still have the best record in the National League, lead the Eastern Division, and second place Philly by 15 1/2 games.

Do they have a shot in the playoffs? Everyone does as the hottest team going into the playoffs has won THE WORLD SERIES in the 4 out of the last 5 played (Diamondbacks, Angels, Red Sox and Marlins). In September they'll play mostly crummy teams that'll give them an edge to hopefully make a playoff push in the Wild Card. But then The Mets will have to kick their asses.

I still have a lot of love for the 1993 Wild Bunch team that came up short; and for the record the first baseball glove I ever had was a Rawlings, "signed" by MIKE SCHMIDT.

INCREDIBLE

So far this August I'm 2 for 2. I've never heard of Vince Papale before; being from NYC I had the luxury and curse of having 2 teams for every major sport, so if one's stinking up the joint hopefully the other wasn't. Except for the Yankees who just suck.

When I went to College in Philadelphia, in 1989 I knew that I was in unfamiliar ground. I was a Mets / Rangers / Knicks / Giants & Jets Fan. But I was warned about the Philadelphia fans (the ones who made throwing snowballs at Santa Claus and opposing NFL teams fashionable) so the one time I went to a Phillies game in Sept. of 1989 at Vets stadium I didn't wear any METS regallia or open my mouth, especially since I went by myself.

As for the Eagles, I always had a healthy respect for them; even as a kid I thought their helmets looked cool with the wings on them, and the Randall Cunningham team of the late '80's early '90's were always exciting to watch.

How times have changed- Sports now is 1000% an Business and I feel that most of the millionaire players with their questionable character off the field makes watching football cold and lifeless for me, because of the mercenary way players move from team to team, only really caring about themselves.

Which is why INVINCIBLE is a lightning shot of confidence that makes you want to believe in sports figures and to bigger degree yourself again. Nothing is out of reach for anybody.

Mark Wahlberg's impressive performance rivals that of his star making turn in Boogie Nights, and dare I say it, Oscar Worthy. I don't believe that with the more "Serious, Cynical and Darker " films that end off each year he'll recieve one , but if Tom Hanks can win for "Forrest Gump" I don't feel that it's out of reach.

They captured the feel and essence of the 1970's Philadelphia real well, from the clothes, music, the location shooting, and even adding a dead ringer for Joe Lampone - the actor who play's Papale's best friend. According to Keegs this was a close to 1970's Philly as we're gonna get today.

Papale hits rock bottom before making each painstaking step closer to achieving his dream of playing for his hometown team, however it's his HUMILTY that makes him so special. I actually got choked up when at one point he causes a fumble on a kickoff, and ends up with touchdown- and stands with his arms outstretched, acknowledging the hometown fans and allowing all of them to live the dream with him. I really also liked the added real footage of the real Papale added at the end of the film. On the 30th anniversary of ROCKY I couldn't think of a better film to hand the torch to.

Invincible is OUTSTANDING.

FANGTASTIC !!!

Christmas cometh early my friends. After months of hype and chuckles, SNAKES ON A PLANE delivered. Big time. This was the first Hollywood movie that really lived up to all the publicity and hoopla surrounding it; I feel completely satisfied from wire to wire with this movie- because it didn't lie to the public about what it was - it did what it set out to do and give you and your $$ and rocking time at the movies. The Great American B movie might yet have a future my friends.

Yesterday's fun fiesta started with Cheesesteaks at the South Philly Steaks restaurant on Victory and Olive Blvds in Burbank @ 6pm. We had great debates about pop culture and the TRANSFORMERS, and - after gourging ourselves with greasy cuisine we set out to find our friend Russ waiting on line for us at the AMC 16 theater at 7:10pm. He was the second guy on line so everything was going to plan. The Crew for the night were Jon Gebhart, Keegs, Jay Warnesky, my buddy Eugene Abano from work at FOX, Kim Le, her boyfriend Ed, and about 10-11 of Gebahart's buddies at the Simpsons.

My Friend, Joshua Taback, I will note was a BIG PUSSY and didn't show up. Rrrrrarrrh!

ON WITH THE SHOW:

So we're let in at about 8:15pm for a 8:50pm show and had two split rows of people. At this point I was a little concerned about the movie as the theater wasn't full yet, but by showtime it was at 90% capacity. After the crummy "Pre Show" Countdowns and a few shitty trailers (Note: I will see "JACKASS 2"; and "Tenatious D and the Pick of Destiny") Sam and his friends were about to start.

The lights dimmed and the energy level rose as I, and the rest of the audience started to cheer and clap because SNAKES ON A PLANE was finally here. I'm not going to go on a detailed account of the movie as to not spoil it for everyone, but I will note a few great audience "POPS" that happened throughout the movie.

POP # 1 - The Villian screaming "whooo" Ric Flair style as his smacks his victim with a baseball bat.

POP # 2 - Sam Jackson's first appearance in the film the house went nuts.

POP # 3 - The Plane takes off from Hawaii / and then they show the cargo hold with the snakes.

POP # 4 - The snakes are released and all hell breaks loose on the plane, there are ways of killing people with snakes
I never thought of. The audience goes nuts for 40 mins straight.

POP # 5- Sam says the line "We gotta get these Muthafuckin' Snakes off this Muthafuckin' plane!" -It was great to hear but
a little anti climactic as we were all expecting it - there was an earlier line about the snakes that was just as funny.

POP #6 - A surprise "Pilot" causes the audience to cheer his name...

As movies with creatures go this one's at the top eschelon with ANACONDA, TREMORS, and LAKE PLACID. There were some genuine "scares" that made me jump out of my seat.

You'll have to hand it to Sam Jackson for not taking himself too seriously to make this movie; and the audience participation on this one was on par when I saw "There's Something About Mary" back in the late '90's. It was refreshing to see a movie and have fun again from beginning to end; and not complain about anything (plot,shot selection,editing etc.) because with a title like SNAKES ON A PLANE you honestly know what you're getting.

Maybe next time they'll re-name a movie like ARMAGEDDON- "OIL DRILLERS IN SPACE" and I'll actually enjoy it.


http://www.snakesonaplane.com